Friday, March 20, 2009

Swans look Good

What happens when a guy with artistic sensibilities ranging from mild to suppressed is subjected to three long hours of ballet theater?

A frustrated blog post happens.

I am a fairly artistic person. Most of my friends know that about me. I like music, I like painting, I like dance, and at some point in my short life, I've done all these things. However, my last brush with culture in such large doses was over 3 years ago, unless you count my pathetic attempts at learning how to play a guitar.

Europe is big on culture. They have some amazing dance styles, and the music scene is diverse and booming. Same's true for performing arts. Ballet, pantomime, musicals, stand-up comedy, arthouse, conventional theater, opera, it's all very popular.

I wanted to try it out, see what drives people fond of this stuff. I had been warned. I was the only guy I knew who signed on to watch a ballet performance of 'Swan Lake'.

It was all very 'queer'. Yes, that's the word I want to use. After sitting through the first hour, I felt like I was being castrated slowly. Two guys dancing intimately with one another, was followed by guy dancing with one swan, then a group of swans, then guy dancing by himself, then with a room full of people, then with his manservant and one of his female friends, and so on. Ultimately, the plain and simple conclusion I reached was that the story involved a guy who was a closet homosexual, but fell for a swan. The only thing impressive about the whole affair was that they were all able to dance rather gracefully for nearly three long hours. And tell you what, I clapped hard when the show was over. The show being over was a big reason, but that wasn't all of it. The musical performance of the orchestra was spectacular throughout the show and made it bearable, something I hadn't realized so much while they were still playing.

1. Chicks outnumbered guys 10:1 in the audience.
2. Dudes and chicks in the ballet crew were nearly equal in number, even so, the number of guys never seemed to be appropriate as long as there was more than one.
3. The Festival Theater of Edinburgh, where the show was staged, is bloody marvelous both from the interior as well as exterior.
4. The faces of the guys in the audience clearly indicated just how much they were 'enjoying' the show.
5. Lastly, even in the midst of a tasteless disaster of a performance, Swans look good.

P.S. : I was gonna tell you how some of us geniuses in Edinburgh claim Mozzarella is not really cheese, but Wikipedia does not agree, nor does anyone else, and so I'll leave that discussion for another day.


Bora said...

Dear Rohin,
a kind advice :)
before going to a ballet or opera or wise enough to read smth about the story line of what u will see or listen..otherwise u get less and get bored :)
in this context, I can tell u that the two guys were not two homosexuals, and one of them fell for the swan :P, but were a prince who fell for the swan and the devil. the devil turned a princess into a swan and decided her fate as such for as long as a guy would fully, truly fall in love with her :):)
I am sure u will enjoy most next time :)

Clonerohin said...

ignorant me... but isn't my interpretation more exciting and intriguing than the actual story?

Pshycolitian said...

hahaha knowing the actual story line from Bora your interpretation sounds naive but funny as usual :)...
by the way you told me you were to write about mozarella cheese!! where did swans come from

aabhar said...

writing style looks good too! :) macha..great style of narration. yours is the only blog i read so keep the anecdotes rolling :D